Well it’s been a while! But I suddenly came upon some extra time on my hands so thought doing a little writing might be a good, therapeutic use of that time. One week ago I slipped and fell on a play date with my little one and broke my ankle! So 4 days ago I had a cast put on and found out I cannot put weight on it for at least 4 weeks. To add to that fun, I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with a 17 month old running around at home. Talk about complicated. And a bummer!
Christmas is just about a week away and we were supposed to fly to Minnesota in a few days to spend the holiday with my family. We thought it might be the last time we’d go back for the holiday for a while with the impending arrival of our new baby boy and the craziness that comes with a growing family. Now it looks like we will probably not be able to go. The disappointment surrounding that hasn’t even hit me. I’ve been trying to take one day at a time so as not to get too depressed about my inability to do anything around the house- primarily take care of my daughter, which is my full time job! It is SO hard to do nothing when you are used to doing everything.
My inlaws were able to come up for this week and help out which has been such a blessing. And I have another family member coming to help for two days next week and then the husband will be home because of the time he took off for our trip. So at least we’ve got support figured out for the next week. There is no possible way I could do it myself (which right there is extremely difficult to admit because I always try to be superwoman doing it all).
As I try to find the silver lining in all of this, I am reminded that my injury could have been worse and that this is only temporary. Also that we are lucky that baby boy is still in my tummy growing and healthy, and this would be even more challenging if he was already born! And lastly, sometimes it is good to be forced to slow down and take life day by day, and to notice the many loved ones who will go out of their way to help out a friend in need. There ARE good people in the world, and many of them are right in my small section of the world. And for that, I feel ever so blessed.
Is it ironic that today I received my last paycheck from my school district and it is also the first day of school? I am taking a year leave to stay home with my sweet little one which is truly a blessing and something I have always wanted. I am so very thankful to my hardworking husband for making this work for our family. I know there are countless benefits to me staying home with her instead of sending her to daycare and it is something I will never regret in the long run. However, last week a wave of sadness hit me that I wasn’t going to be starting the school year. And today I can actually “feel” those first day jitters and excitement. I can almost smell that back to school smell! It’s so weird! My school was a second home for 9 years. The community that existed there was really like a family. (And I shouldn’t talk about it in past tense as I really hope to continue to maintain the relationships with many of the people I’ve worked with. But obviously it won’t be the same.) The whole happy-sad feeling is just a weird one. A good friend sent me a sweet card at the end of last school year, encouraging me in this big life change and also acknowledging that it was going to be hard. The card said “May You Live a Life You Love” on the front and her words still stick with me. I think the part about acknowledging that this was going to be a big change and it was ok if it felt hard or sad was the biggest for me. I know I should feel thankful and happy about this choice, and I do, for sure! But its ok if I feel other feels too.
January 29, 2016
I just finished baking some (delicious) cookies while enjoying some (boxed) wine (I know) and listening to my current favorite Pandora station (Milky Chance radio). Baby was in bed the whole time (and actually was put to bed by her dad, meaning I was without baby for a solid chunk of time). I don’t know why I’m way overusing parentheses tonight. Anyways, my point is that this hour or two of my evening was AMAZING. It was relaxing and I felt like a different person- well, an old person… well, not an old person (although that is ironically accurate as well), just an old version of myself. I felt more like who I was before I had a baby. It was weird and great- I’m having a hard time articulating exactly what it was like. I have recently had (approximately two other) moments where I felt this stark reminder of who I was before. It is kind of a weird deja-vu thing. I think it is partly, or mainly, because I have not spent a large chunk of time away from baby so any small amount of time away from her is a “hey I’m just over here doing my thing– OH YEAH WAIT I HAVE A BABY.” It’s bizarre, like I forgot for a second. Anyone else ever felt like that? Back to my point, I think when you find something that makes you feel “yourself” that its an important thing to remember and come back to. I feel especially “zen” baking or cooking with some wine and chill tunes. I LOVE that. And I need to remember that’s something I can do (if/when I make time for it) when people talk about “taking care of yourself.” And just to be clear, I think that taking care of yourself as a new mom can mean a lot of things- it might not even mean that you are away from your baby. I think it just means doing something that feeds your soul and makes you feel good. I was so exhausted today and probably could have gone to bed at 8 pm when baby did, but taking a little time for myself felt rejuvenating and here I am typing away 2 hours later. I guess what this really is about is I am realizing that (although I wouldn’t trade anything for what my life is now) balance is important and something I need to keep working on finding!
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Keep calm and carry on. Those two delightfully cliche sayings mean pretty much the same thing, don’t they? I got this great calendar from my sister for Christmas. It’s so cute, each month is a different “Keep Calm and……” saying that goes with each month. My crafty self is going to get a frame that size and cut up the calendar after each month and use as seasonal art around the house. FUN! 🙂
Anyways, aside from my cool new calendar, I read this article that seemed to be a perfect mental pep-up for a “fresh” 2014.
Click here to read: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff- from Real Simple
It talks about how to use the reasoning side of your brain to counter emotional reactions that make you feel negative- disappointed, anxious, defeated, inconvenienced, etc. I thought it had some great advice!
I often get caught up with my emotions- worrying about something I said, or didn’t; letting anxiety ruin my day; feeling unworthy or insufficient. I try to stop myself from getting carried away but often have a really difficult time of stopping that emotional reaction. I think some of these tips will really help me. And by handling
situations LIFE with more reasonable than emotional reactions, I think I’ll be a more productive and efficient person. Obviously I will let my positive, happy emotions take over on days like my wedding day and other exciting life events, because, well, duh. But in terms of controlling a negative emotional reaction, thanks Real Simple!
Happy Monday friends!
My paperwhites bloomed! “Fresh flowers for a fresh new year” is what I captioned this photo on my instagram! That’s how I have been feeling about 2014 so far! Fresh! I have worked out every day since December 31, the air has been crisp and clean with blue skies, and I feel a rejuvenated sense of complete happiness. If that’s not feeling fresh, then I don’t know what is!
On one of these very fresh and clear days, (yesterday) K and I went for a drive and found a few new amazing viewpoints right over near Cougar Mountain. This photo is from a little picnic spot near the top of Cougar Mountain. The view of Lake Sammamish in the sunset was breathtaking. I also got some shots of the sunset itself but it’s sad that my camera doesn’t even begin to capture the beauty that the naked eye can. We both were feeling so blessed to live where we live, in such an amazing state! (especially as my family in the midwest is dealing with temps almost 30 below zero!- you have to feel even more thankful to have sunny skies and 45 degrees!)
I’ve really been trying to savor the last couple days of break. I just don’t want to go back to work! UGH! Tonight is my last night of break and I’m just trying to mentally prep to get back in the swing of things and it is so hard! I am thinking back to the break though, and don’t have a thing to regret about it. The last four days have been without any extra family around and I’ve done my fair share of “testing out the new couch” (read: being lazy), cooking, cleaning and working out (read: being productive), and having fun with K and friends. Today, for example, we went out to lunch and ice skating for our friends’ birthday! And Friday, we went shopping, out to sushi and to a movie for a date night! So really, I have done a great job of making the most of break and should be ready to get back to work. (I’m not though, and I’m not going to lie about it… so whatever.) Hopefully those little smiling faces will kick my butt back into gear tomorrow morning bright and early and I can find my motivation to teach their little minds everything they need to learn in first grade! Keep your fingers crossed for me. 🙂
I honestly don’t think I could have asked for a better holiday season this year! K and I spent Christmas down in Vancouver with his family. It was my first Christmas that wasn’t in Minnesota, ever, but it was so amazing! I love his family and they actually have similar traditions to that of my family so it made the transition to change a whole lot easier! His mom even had a stocking made for me with my name on it! Talk about feeling right at home!
When we got back from Vancouver, my family flew in to visit! What a treat! They all stayed at the house, and although I thought it would feel a lot more cramped, it actually was not bad at all! The house was full of Christmas cheer- aka tons and tons of belly laughs! I had such an amazing time with all of them! I also got to know my little sister’s new fiance a lot better which was awesome! He’s a really nice guy and I couldn’t be happier for little Kitty!
We rang in 2014 in style, naturally! I hosted a black and gold themed party at the house. We all got dressed up, made appetizers, Tina made a fancy drink, ordered pizza, played games, danced, set off illegal fireworks in the backyard, and watched the ball drop as a family. It makes me warm and fuzzy and happy to think about!
To kick off 2014 we did the Wold Family Winter Olympics, which consisted of a 5k loop around Lake Boren, a hill climb (up our back yard haha) and a game of cowboy golf. My sisters are hilarious and I think Kyle enjoyed spending time with all of them, as loud and overwhelming as we can be all together!
2014 is going to be a life changing year. I already can’t wait to marry my wonderful man and begin our lives together (officially). I have set some good goals and feel like I am starting the year in a healthy and happy state, physically and mentally. Cheers to 2014!!
Four more wake-ups! I feel guilty for how ready I have been for winter break… going on two weeks now! The kids are totally ready too which is a big part if my readiness!
The first Christmas in our home is coming along quite nicely! We went out to the mountains on a tree mission last weekend, and although we ended up getting one from a tree farm instead, the adventure in itself was worth it! The tree looks so beautiful in the living room! I’ve purchased a few new festive holiday decor items and we have been given a few things from Kyle’s parents as well… It is starting to feel quite festive! My family will be coming out right after Christmas too!! Woohoo! Although my first Christmas away from Minnesota will be weird, I’m definitely excited about the new holiday traditions Kyle and I are starting!
My favorite parts of this season have to be the smell of a Christmas tree (ours smells a little bit citrusy!), the glow of Christmas lights, Starbucks caramel brûlée latte, Hallmark holiday movies, candy cane Hershey kisses and the warmth of Christmas cheer spread with family! Oh, and the movie Elf, although I haven’t seen it yet this season!
I am going to try hard to slow myself down and work hard with my students the next four (well, 3 if you don’t count Polar Express day) days and not wish them all away! And then plan on enjoying every single day of my two week vacation with every ounce of my being! 🙂
Happy holidays! And if I end up with any successful holiday baking projects I will share! (So far my three unsuccessful attempts at bourbon salted caramels have me feeling defeated as a baker!) For now, cheers to mistletoe and holiday magic!