May You Live a Life You Love

Is it ironic that today I received my last paycheck from my school district and it is also the first day of school? I am taking a year leave to stay home with my sweet little one which is truly a blessing and something I have always wanted. I am so very thankful to my hardworking husband for making this work for our family.  I know there are countless benefits to me staying home with her instead of sending her to daycare and it is something  I will never regret in the long run.  However, last week a wave of sadness hit me that I wasn’t going to be starting the school year. And today I can actually “feel” those first day jitters and excitement. I can almost smell that back to school smell! It’s so weird! My school was a second home for 9 years. The community that existed there was really like a family.  (And I shouldn’t talk about it in past tense as I really hope to continue to maintain the relationships with many of the people I’ve worked with. But obviously it won’t be the same.) The whole happy-sad feeling is just a weird one.  A good friend sent me a sweet card at the end of last school year, encouraging me in this big life change and also acknowledging that it was going to be hard.  The card said “May You Live a Life You Love” on the front and her words still stick with me.  I think the part about acknowledging that this was going to be a big change and it was ok if it felt hard or sad was the biggest for me.  I know I should feel thankful and happy about this choice, and I do, for sure! But its ok if I feel other feels too.

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